Friday, March 31, 2006


While it may be just my imagination or my intense loathing for people who tailgate, it seems like we have more than the normal amount of tailgaters in our area. Nine times out of ten it’s a young thug wanna be slumped down behind the wheel of the offending car that is so close to your bumper that you can’t even see their headlights but only the top of their windshield from your rearview mirror.

And it’s not just me, everyone I know of complains about them. Chris used to keep Snapple bottles in the floorboard of his car so he would have one within reach to wave out of the moonroof of his car to let them know that they needed to back off and stay out of range should he decide to whiz it at their windshield.

Every time it happens, there is never a cop in sight. Until the other day.

Nick and I were out running errands and had to make a stop at the bank. In front of the bank is a red light where a side street connects to a busy intersection. As we were getting out of the car to walk inside we noticed a SUV come up to the light with a small ‘beater’ car riding right on it’s bumper.

As the SUV came to a complete stop, the car behind it that had been on it’s bumper, also came to a stop, a few mere inches from the bumper. The driver side door of the SUV swung open and one of the biggest men I’ve ever seen bounded out from behind the wheel and out on to the road. When I say ‘big’ I don’t mean obese big, but 6’4, 250 pounds of daily iron pumping, buffed out, MASSIVE.

This man was so large that the sleeves of his shirt were doing all they could not to bust out the seams due to his massive biceps. Did I say sleeves of his shirt? My bad, I meant the sleeves of his uniform. The brown uniform worn by the officers of our county sheriff’s office.

The officer practically leapt from behind the wheel, out on to the street and back to the little car behind him. I couldn’t hear what he was saying but just watching his body language was enough to convey his point. He began yelling and pointing at the driver of the little car, pointing to the bumper of his SUV and then to the front bumper of the car and the tiny space in between.

The driver of the car was much as I expected, probably not any older than 19 with his cap on backwards and the rap music blaring. Within seconds I noticed that the ear throbbing thumping sounds from the car had mysteriously dissipated while the driver slunk further and further down in the driver’s seat.

Still furious the off duty deputy sheriff pointed his finger one last time before he spun on his heel and got back in his SUV just as the light turned green.

The little car made sure there was at least 2 car spaces in between him and the SUV before he followed through the green light.

Oh yeah, I was lovin' it and judging by the grins of all the other onlookers who had witnessed it, I wasn't the only one.


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